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THE MOODS OF MEN AND WOMEN

> MOODS OF A WOMAN
> > An angel of truth and a dream of fiction,
> > A woman is a bundle of contradiction,
> > She's afraid of a wasp, will scream at a
mouse,
> > But will tackle her boyfriend alone in the
house.
> > Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose,
> > She'll kiss you one minute, then turn up her
nose,
> > She'll win you in range, enchant you in silk,
> > She'll be stronger than brandy, milder than
milk;
> > At times she'll be vengeful, merry and sad,
> > She'll hate you like poison, and love you
like mad.
> >
> >
> > MOODS OF A MAN (every guy i have ever dated or meet has proved this to be 100% true)
> >
> > Horny.
> > Hungry.
TRUE FRIENDS
What would you do if every time you fell in love if you had to say good-bye?
What would you do if every time you wanted someone they would never be there?
What would you do, if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt?
What would you do if you loved someone more than ever and you couldn't have them?
And if you hate me I just want you to know I am sorry for what ever I did.
Some people live, and some people die and some people dream and pray and hope and wish and love
But I want to tell you I love you, and you are a true friend.
If I died tomorrow you would be in my heart. Would I be in yours?
WHAT'S THE MOST POWERFUL WORD?
What's the most powerful word?
Well, shit...
Shit may just be the most powerful word in the English language.
You can be shit faced,
shit out of luck,
or have shit for brains.
With a little effort,
you can get your shit
together,
find a place for your shit
or decide to shit or get
off the pot.
You can smoke shit,
buy shit,
sell shit,
lose shit,
find shit,
forget shit,
and tell others to eat shit and die.
Some people know their shit
while others can't tell
the difference
between shit and shineola.
There are lucky shits,
dumb shits,
crazy shits,
and sweet shits.
There is bull shit,
chicken shit.
and horse shit
You can throw shit,
sling shit,
catch shit,
or duck when shit hits the fan.
You can give a shit
or serve shit on a shingle.
You can find yourself in deep shit
or be happier
than a pig in shit.
Some days are colder than shit,
some days are hotter than shit,
and some days are just plain shitty.
Some music sounds like shit,
things can look like shit,
and there are times
when you feel like shit.
You can have too much shit,
the right shit,
the wrong shit or
a lot of weird shit.
You can carry shit,
have a mountain of shit,
or find
yourself up shit creek
without a paddle.
Sometimes everything you touch turns to shit
and other times you swim in a lake of shit and come
out smelling like a rose.
When you stop to consider all the facts, it's the
basic building block of creation.
And remember, once you know your shit, you don't need to know anything else!
Now, if you still wanna see my shit, then read on.
How To Impress...
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN

Wine her,

Dine her,

Call her,

Hug her,

Hold her,

Surprise her,

Compliment her,

Smile at her,

Laugh with her,

Cry with her,

Cuddle with her,

Shop with her,

Give her jewelry,

Buy her flowers,

Hold her hand,

Write love letters to her,

Go the end of the earth and back again for her.



HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN

Show up naked,

Bring beer.